Today is August 14, 2012. The original contract for our time here in Germany was to expire on August 14, 2012. Due to aforementioned circumstances, the contract and start date were delayed for an extra two weeks to have a final day of August 28, 2012. While I would love to be heading home today, it feels good to know that something has fallen into our favor.
A year ago this time, as everyone is aware, we were a mess. Faced with a year out of the operating room, without our dog, in a foreign country without friends or family, we spent a generous amount of time asking non-productive questions. "Why?" "How did this happen?" The most thought provoking, however, was "What did I (we) do to deserve this?" For seven years, five spent in general surgery doing operations I would never do again and two spent taking call every other night, operating constantly and working ungodly and absolutely illegal hours, I worked exceedingly hard for what basically amounts to sub minimum wage. While relationships with friends and family at times were strained by the demand and stress of my job, I always felt that this was a right of passage; greener pastures soaked by the bright sun awaited me and mine.
Was it frustrating being in the ICU at 2 am aggressively helping to stop Patient X from actively trying to die, only to order a chest x-ray and have the knowledge that the person showing up to take the x-ray, despite only 2 years of schooling, was making more money than I was? How am I privy to this knowledge? From very early in the relationship with my future wife I was forced to come to terms with the realization that she, as the x-ray technologist, was making more (not just more... a lot more) money than I was. To be truthful, this was not entirely difficult to swallow while out to dinner at a nice restaurant, but decidedly more so when sleep deprived and overworked. Money, however, certainly was not the goal- as any financial advisor would tell you the way to wealth in your adult years is to save early and often so the money has time to grow. Unfortunately, an resident physician in America, starting their first year as an indentured servant, does so with an average of 156,000 dollars in debt. Thanks to two parents who worked their ass off and believed strongly in the education of their progeny, my financial situation starting out was infinitely better than most. While the 7 years of training certainly had tight financial moments, for the most part we lived very comfortably. Ah, the benefits of a sugar mama.
Certainly I digress. The point remains, though, that I had finished the required training to practice as a heart and lung surgeon in America. To take extra training is sort of like a college football player who is sure to be selected in the draft coming back to college for one more year. A delayed gratification, so to speak. The difference, though, was instead of keg parties, 100,000 screaming fans and girls in Yoga pants, I was marooned with my family. Furthermore, I wasn't operating! So basically I came back to college, but was not able to play football, couldn't see my dog, my friends and most my family, and I was banished to stay on the corner of campus where the only spoken language was German. Hence, the extensive Why, How, and What did I do questions.
To help us through the first few months we had an endless supply of two amazing things: L Rizzy and German Beer (which is spectacularly better than keg beer). But then we slowly made some friends- well my better paid, out of work wife did. We slowly involved ourselves in the world around us. We learned enough German to be functional. We planned trips. We had some visitors. We branched out. We had new experiences. Before we knew it the time started to fly by the questions faded into the background of our . The winter came and went. We enjoyed the spring and watching L Rizzy grow in personality by leaps and bounds. We took a long trip south, L Mama visited Spain, I returned to America to take my boards, and we made some slow progress on the job front. Each day we focused on the future while trying our best to enjoy our present.
And this morning came quickly, the day we were to be done here. As it stands we have 15 days left until our plane leaves Berlin. After touring the UK we will head home by cruise. Had we finished today, there is no way we would have stayed an entire month to take the cruise home or traveled the UK. Also this morning, while playing Angry Birds on my phone as we enjoyed the morning sun and breeze, L Rizzy laid his head on my chest for 20 straight minutes and watched his dad kick the dust out of some nasty green pigs. And I couldn't help but think, "What the hell did I do to deserve this?"
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